photo courtesy of footage.framepool.com
A widow had a dream that involved a mildly conflicted sexual
encounter with her late husband. She was concerned that if she had really been
visited by her husband, she did not behave at her best. I suggested that, if he
was there, then it was to help her deliver a message to herself. Perhaps the
best way to honor his visit was to figure out what the dream was attempting to tell
her.
When we reassembled the dream in its metaphoric version, two
themes emerged. First, the dreamer repeatedly expressed her desire to be left
alone, to sleep and to “drift into another realm.” The second theme was about
honesty, and since every symbol in the dream is about the dreamer, this is
about being honest with herself. (Scroll down to follow how we reached this
point in the interpretation process.)
Now it was time to ask the dreamer, herself, what she makes
of this.
The dreamer comments
Oh my God, this dream
is an autobiography. I can’t believe it! What’s really interesting is that I
still have the sense that my husband was there. But I also have the sense that
he is totally at peace with our encounter. I get feelings of nothing but love
and encouragement coming from him. Maybe it’s—as you say—because I got the message
of the dream. Boy did that hit home!
Right now, I’m in a
time of transition in my life. I’m exploring new directions—not so much in what
I do, but in how I think about life and how I prioritize. Maybe that just comes
with losing a loved one; we were very close, and I miss him terribly. But it’s
time to move on, yes, even if it means drifting. I need to leave that life I
had with him behind and explore who I am as a person. That’s tough for me. Like
the dream said, it takes energy and stamina, and a lot of times I don’t feel
like it.
So I do find myself
kind of drifting. I think the term in the dream was “submissive posture.” That’s
right. I take the path of least resistance, giving lip service to the new goals
I have made for myself, but then allowing my grief and pain to pull me back. I
know I just need more time, but this is like a no-man’s land for me. And it’s
really uncomfortable.
In some ways, though,
the dream really helped. What I mean is that, if my husband really did come to
me in the dream, then he is there, now, and being supportive of where I need to
explore in my life. It’s like he’s telling me, “You need to be firm and take
the direction that’s right for you. But even though it’s a direction you need
to pursue on your own, I’ll still be there in my own way, supporting you
through it all.” I think that’s beautiful, and look at me: I'm crying.
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