image courtesy of thebronzeroom.com
Our dreamer this week is in his mid-70s. He and his wife recently celebrated their golden wedding anniversary. They both describe their relationship as warm, loving and supportive. A while ago, the wife asked if they might try an experiment to see how they would get along without sex. The husband agreed, although he was skeptical at first; he wasn’t sure how he would fair. To his surprise, not only did he relax into the new protocol, but he found that he was relieved not to be driven by this intense biological urge. “It took a huge responsibility off my shoulders,” he said.
For that reason, he was dismayed and upset when he recently awoke from an erotic dream. At first he was embarrassed and reluctant to talk about it with me. But I pointed out that dreams intentionally use unsettling imagery in order to stay in our memories. Startling images helps us remember our dreams as we transition from sleep to wakefulness. And the vast majority of dreams are not intended to be taken literally. They speak in symbols—in metaphors—and their messages are almost always about something far removed from the supposed dream content.
A septuagenarian’s short erotic dream
In my dream I’m with a woman who is much younger than I am—maybe in her mid-40s. We seem to be at a carnival of some sort, and maybe we’re even on a ride—one of those kinds where you sit in a bucket-like capsule and twirl around. In any case, we are kissing. I would describe our moods as enthusiastic and fun. All at once I push my tongue into her mouth. And far from objecting, she reaches into my pants and starts fondling my genitals. That’s when I wake up.
My initial discussion with the dreamer
Even as he was telling me his dream, the dreamer was uncomfortable. At the end he said, “I know this sounds like a typical male fantasy, but it’s just not me anymore. If I were 35 that would be different. But now? The fact is, I am really at peace with the whole absence of sex in my life.”
I decided to initiate a discussion about the roles that images of masculine and feminine play in our lives and in our dreams. I suggested to him that feminine images often represent the most intuitive aspects of our psyches. Feminine energy is the great visionary energy, the great conceptualizer. Feminine’s job is to dream the dream of creativity, and then hand that dream to masculine. Masculine images often represent the great builder within us—the great manifestor. When feminine dreams her vision and then hands the “blueprint” to masculine, it is then masculine’s job to bring the dream into reality. Masculine’s role is to make the dream happen.
Whether we are male or female, we all have those two energies within us. And a dream depicting the love-making between these two creative forces can be extremely constructive.
More on Wednesday.
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