Friday, 28 October 2016

A Romantic Attraction At Work: A Waking Dream (Post #3)



This week, we’re looking at a waking dream about a potential, romantic encounter in the workplace. On Wednesday, we isolated the symbols. (Scroll down to my last post.) Today, we’ll ask the dreamer to take those symbols and try to understand them as metaphors. I will offer neutral prompts to help guide him to his own intuitive understanding. I usually begin with the prompt, “Tell me about it.”

Tell me about…
* One day:  Sometime in the past; no special event.
* Casual business meeting:  We were making decisions, but there’s no pressure.
* Coworker:  This is someone I bounce ideas off of and get inspiration from.
* Project:  We do strategic planning, and we are working on the future direction of our company.
* Interact on our job:  We work together to make necessary decisions.
* A couple of years:  It’s been long enough that we have become a team.
* Work well together:  We are a constructive team.
* Only friendly:  There has been no desire for intimacy.
* Feel new attraction:  I feel drawn to this person.
* Intense:  It is extremely strong.
* Difficult to participate:  It’s an alarming distraction.
* Feelings not returned:  It seems to be a one-way pull.
* Felt confused and overwhelmed:  I don’t know what it means and I don’t know what to do about it. 
* Couldn’t get her off my mind:  I was becoming obsessed.
* Fantasized:  I was imagining all kinds of things.
* Erotic fantasies:  Dreaming about the most intimately passionate encounters.
* Ashamed:  I imagined things that were unfair to my coworker, and I felt bad.
* Happily married:  I already have a good personal, intimate relationship.
* Didn’t know what to do:   I felt stuck and didn’t know how to proceed.
* Overwhelmed:  I feel as if I am beyond my abilities to cope.
* Ambivalent:  I am completely undecided.
* Wanted it to stop:  Things were much more peaceful before, and I long for that peace.
* Reveling in the fantasy:  At the same time, I am powerfully attracted to this situation.

Initial analysis
What this dreamer had to say about his symbols might be completely different than what someone else might have suggested; his comments constitute his story. Furthermore, if you read only his comments, that story becomes quite clear. Here is a young man who, previously, felt little pressure to become intimate with the part of himself from which he gets inspiration and with whom he works well to make necessary decisions. That has changed for him, even though he already has a “good personal, intimate relationship.” Troublesome for him is that his new desire isn’t mutual. It feels like a “one-way pull.” So there is work for him to do to bring all of his new understanding into balance.

Most importantly, now that he understands his experience from the perspective of metaphor, he sees that this is not about having an affair at work. The sexual implications are simply symbolic of a desired bond of a totally different kind.

Tomorrow, we’ll ask the dreamer what he makes of this. His comments should be enlightening.

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