My reply to Ron. (Scroll down to my last post to read how the conversation began.)
Thank you so much for trusting me with your pain and your loss. I am sorry for your devastating experience; I will do my best to address your issues.
Yes, the “buck stops with you” for the thoughts you expressed to your female coworker. It can be a bit complicated, so let me explain: Let’s say the thoughts didn’t originate with you, but came from some devilish prankster off in the ethers somewhere. Think of the size of the universe and then imagine how many of those annoying, meddling entities there are: trillions of them.
As humans just trying to get through life, we are constantly shielding ourselves from stuff like that. It’s a continual bombardment—a little bit like all the radio, TV and cyber messages that are agitating the airwaves at any given moment. We subconsciously block them out and go about our business.
So, did the three thoughts come from somewhere else? It’s conceivable. But why did these three make it into your conscious mind when a trillion others did not? It’s because you let the thoughts in.
Why would you be aware of and then express thoughts like that, subverting your own work experience? The answer is that, somewhere in your subconscious you are ready for a change. And the fact that you wrote to someone like me rather than contacting your local illicit drug dealer in an effort to anesthetize yourself, says a lot about the kind of change you are setting yourself up for.
While there are those who can live their entire lives with their careers as their sole ego identification, anyone who is trying to grow will eventually find identifying with a job spiritually limiting. The fact that this happened after 9 years of work is also significant. In relationships—especially marriages—they talk about the “seven year itch.” But in many personal growth scenarios, nine years is more typical when it comes to a need for change.
So you have booted yourself away from something precious. That’s true—and painful. But it is also true that, by giving up this one thing, you have gained access to the entire world with its fantastic variety of offerings; you can evolve into anyone or anything you like—and that’s nothing shy of exhilarating!
As you work through your pain, quietly pay attention to the directions and prompts life seems to be providing you. Where is this leading you? With every “death” there is a rebirth. This upsetting experience is taking you somewhere, and it’s going to be somewhere beautiful. The more you can detach from your hurt, the more you can become aware of where life is leading you next.
I’m am sending you lots of good thoughts from here, and please know that, if you’d like to continue this discussion, I am happy to receive more emails from you.
With love in spirit,
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